One lab accident away from being a supervillain

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 58 (5/29/13) BACK FROM HIATUS, THIS TIME WITH GIFS

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 42 (4/4/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Sarah: Remind me not to read Battle of Five Armies fics on my phone at work

Rachel: Why would you do that to yourself

Sarah: It was really good

Rachel: I'm sure it was

Sarah: :brokenheart:

Rachel: I am finding it hard to have sympathy. Because you knew what it would do. You KNEW.

Sarah: I did know. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm just letting you know why it's raining on my face

Rachel: Fair enough.

Rachel: At least you can take comfort in one thing

Sarah: ?

Rachel: You're book smart about dicks.

Sarah: You're the worst

***

Sarah: I JUST THOUGHT OF A FUN GAME

Rachel: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY

Rachel: Oh ok, you go

***

Sarah: We choose emotional/important lines from our favorite movies and shows...and write them in spaghatta nadle

Rachel: Ah dahn't have frahnds, Jahn. Ah've jast gaht wahn.

Sarah: Ah wahs sah alahn, ahnd ah ahwe yah sah mahch

Sarah: (this is the best idea i've ever had)

Rachel: (alternatively, this is the worst idea you've ever had. I will get NO work done today)

***And then we moved on to Rachel's game, because it was better***

Rachel: Name a person, then the other person tells what they would say to them if they actually met them in real life. Plot twist: They can only say 1 sentence of 5 words or less. I'll start. Richard Armitage.

Sarah: I like your voice marry me?

Rachel: That's 6 words.

Rachel Jesus Sarah.

Sarah: I hoped you wouldn't notice

Sarah: Here - Your voice good marry me

Rachel: Perfect.

***

Sarah: Benedict Cumberbatch

Rachel: Will you take my pulse?

Sarah: Nice

Rachel: Thanks. Dean O'Gorman.

Sarah: How are things with Aidan?

Rachel: *high five*

***

Rachel: Alison Brie

Sarah: I'd probably end up motorboating her, but if I were to say something instead...

Rachel: *motorboat* can count as one of the words if that makes you more comfortable.

Sarah: Your raps are dope *motorboat*

Rachel: Bahahahahahahaha. I think that would successfully woo her, actually.

Sarah: Emma Stone

Rachel: ...You ever kissed a girl?

Sarah: hahahahahahaha

Sarah: subtle

Sarah: *says the girl who motorboated Alison Brie*

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 40 (4/1/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Rachel: I need to go back and read [Sarah's angsty Johnlock, post-Reichenbach fanfic] again, actually. But I'm afraid.

Rachel: Maybe I'll read that before I start my next chapter. So I'll have you to blame for how heartbreaking it is.

Sarah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sarah: I will hold Richard and Aidan's happiness for ransom

Sarah: I'm not above that

Sarah: Not even a little bit

Rachel: EVIL

Sarah: YOU SOUND SURPRISED EVERY TIME

Rachel: BECAUSE YOU JUST SENT ME CORGIS ON A TREADMILL AND THEN YOU STAB ME IN THE HEART

***

Sarah: Oh no, "I Will Follow You into the Dark" *listens to it anyway*

Rachel: NOOOOO

Rachel: I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend...

Sarah: In my story 'verse right now, Aidan is listening to this song in a dark room staring out the window at the rain.

Sarah: Drinking whisky

Rachel: why.

Rachel: why are you doing this.

Sarah: I'm just having a God-is-dead-and-love-is-a-lie kinda Monday

***

Sarah: ZANY ROMANTIC COMEDY TIME: One of us names an actor/character, the other person pairs them off with somebody and says what the plot of their ridiculous romcom would be

Rachel: I LOVE IT

Rachel: It's like a whole game of coffeeshop AUs

***

Rachel: Richard Armitage.

Sarah: Tom Hiddleston. Richard would be a shy, bumbling business executive who doesn't realize how attractive he is. Tom is a conman. They accidentally switch briefcases on the bus and Richard gets dragged into his latest scheme, and is a little horrified to find that he really enjoys it.

Sarah: action comedy/romance, basically

Rachel: I WANT IT SO BAD

Rachel: Title?

Sarah: Okay, shifting the briefcase switch to a plane just so I can call it "Business Class"

Rachel: Nailed it.

***

Sarah: Benedict Cumberbatch

Rachel: Romola Garai. He's a small town man who owns a shop and they're trying to build a new highway that goes right through where his shop is. He refuses to sell and Romola Garai is the tough corporate lawyer they send in to convince him. They hate each other at first, but eventually they realize they're both stuck in a position they don't want to be in anymore and they fall in lurve. It would be called "The Road Ahead". Coming to theaters this Christmas.

***

Sarah: Jensen Ackles

Rachel: Chris Evans. They both work the rodeo circuit, but Jensen is the veteran who all the other guys look up to and respect and Chris is the young up-and-comer who's talented but way too reckless. They butt heads but Jensen takes Chris under his wing and tries to teach him how to survive this crazy life they lead, and they end up falling in love. Title - "Wild Hearts" (and the trailer would of course play the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses")

Sarah: Yessssssss

Sarah: All the muscles. And such pretty faces

Rachel: Yep.

Sarah: Also, cowboys

Rachel: And drunken fights that turn into kissing.

Sarah: Sign me up

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 27 (3/6/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Sarah: How is work today?

Rachel: SLOOOWWW

Sarah: Well...there's always FMK

Rachel: ...There is always that.

Sarah: Bond, Q, John Watson

Rachel: Oh you bitch

***

Rachel: I'm sure you didn't see this coming--Richard, Dean, Aidan.

Sarah: Sigh. Yeah. I knew it was coming. It still hurts.

Rachel: I know it does.

Sarah: It's cool, I deserve it.

Sarah: Okay. Here goes.

Sarah: F Dean. The more I learn about him, the more I realize what a little saucebox he is, and I think it would be super fun. M Aidan, because that would still involve the first thing, but he's also such a bright, happy person and we'd have a good life together. So that means...

Sarah: *gross sobbing*

Rachel: SAY IT

Sarah: (I read that in the Harvey Dent/Two Face voice from TDK)

Rachel: (that is exactly how it was intended)

Sarah: *whispers* Kill Richard. I would have to kill Richard.

Rachel: Yeah, you would.

Sarah: It would be like Buffy and Angel at the end of season 2.

Rachel: But instead of going to work in a diner in L.A. you could just go home and fuck Aidan.

Rachel: That would probably take the edge off

***

Sarah: It's your turn

Rachel: I know I'm thinking.

Sarah: ENTERTAIN ME DAMMIT

Rachel: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

***

Rachel: Ass-kicking females edition: Lt. Uhura, Katniss Everdeen, Black Widow

Sarah: F Black Widow, because of booty. M Lt. Uhura, because she is badass but has a sensitive side, and i know she'd always provide for our family. And K Katniss, because while I love Jennifer Lawrence, girlfriend is a bit too young for me in that story.

Rachel: Ah yes, that is a good point. I sort of forget that Katniss is 17

Rachel: And that is called statutory rape and is frowned on in many cultures.

Sarah: Apparently not in Game of Thrones, though

Rachel: NOPE. Yeesh.

***

Sarah: IRISH EDITION: Michael Fassbender, Liam Neeson, Aidan Turner

Rachel: OH SNAP

Rachel: It's like an Irish car bomb for my lady parts. [No offense intended - it's the name of a drink]

***

Sarah: Ben, Benedict, Jensen

Rachel: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 11 (2/7/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found a way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Sarah: All of my copy editors all decided they were superheroes, and I got a lot of emails like this today: "So...this was weird, but I just decided to handle it like this. Hope this is OK!"

Sarah: No. No it's not OK.

Sarah: ASK

Rachel: Oh man, that sounds like a situation that is dangerously close to making you turn into a supervillain

Sarah: Really it just made me want to curl up in a ball under my desk and weep softly to myself

Rachel: Aidan Turner's face!

Rachel: Richard Armitage's voice!

Rachel: Benedict Cumberbatch's...everything!

Rachel: Tom Hiddleston sitting like a whore!

Rachel: Michael Fassbender's...talent!

Rachel: I'm just trying to think of things that will prevent you from the whole ball/weeping thing.

***

Rachel: There is an AE who is now 306 days overdue in making his recommendation on a paper that has now been revised twice. The paper was originally submitted in September of 2010.

Rachel: I. Want. To. Cry.

-20 minutes later, I see this-

Sarah: Ben Whishaw holding a puppy!

Sarah: Benedict Cumberbatch doing a French accent!

Sarah: Martin Freeman's face!

Rachel: Just so you know, because that was delayed, when I read the first one, I was like, "WHERE??"

***

Rachel: I think I just thought of a PWP that is totally separate from the fic I've been working on. Like--it's just there. Popped up in my brain, all shiny and complete and pretty.

Sarah: Hahaha, that's a dangerous road. Speaking from experience. What with the 6 half-finished stories in my Fic folder

Rachel: Well I'm only at 2 unfinished stories, so that's legit, right?

Sarah: That's how it starts

Rachel: Winter is coming.

Sarah: I'm just gonna start 1 more, it's practically already written, no big deal...

Sarah: SUDDEN SURGE OF INSPIRATION FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY

Sarah: It's okay, I'll just pop over to this one. I'll come back and finish the other one later.

Sarah: OH NO NOT AGAIN

Rachel: Well it's not like I can write it tonight.

Sarah: Have your mom beta it

Rachel: :|

Rachel: :|

Rachel: :|

Rachel: :wait:

Sarah: *whispers* Did I cross a line?

Rachel: What was imagined can never be un-imagined.

Sarah: I'm so sorry

Sarah: *whispers* I'm totally not sorry

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 7 (2/1/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Sarah: Did you decide if we're watching sad, poetic Ben Whishaw or sad, gay Ben Whishaw this weekend?

Rachel: Or sad, ethereal sprite Ben Whishaw, don't forget him.

Sarah: Oh yeah, I forgot that The Tempest was on the table

***

Sarah: Our conversations must sound like gibberish to other people.

Rachel: I shudder to think

Sarah: We probably sound like crazy people.

Sarah: Just saying unrelated, nonsensical things back and forth to each other.

Rachel: I think we can take the "probably" out.

Rachel: Sometimes I forget that other people don't do the same things we do (like in real life, not people on the internet) and I say things and just...blank stares. Little bit of fear in the eyes, but the rest is blank.

***

Sarah: Hey, I feel like a shitty friend for not asking - have you heard any more interest in your apartment yet?

Rachel: You don't have to feel like a shitty friend! No updates. I think they said they had an appointment to show it on Tuesday, but I don't know if the people showed up. I'm just still waiting. Trust me, you'll know if anything happens :)

Sarah: Okay good. I want you to move back here so we can watch Ben Whishaw and Aidan Turner and Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston and not have to plan ahead for it. Also because like you're my friend or whatever.

***

Rachel: ...What *were* Fili and Kili doing when the ponies went missing?

Sarah: I have about 10 answers that are all variations on the same theme :P

Rachel: Playing hopscotch.

Sarah: More like handball

Rachel: *rimshot*

Rachel: (literally)

***I'd told Rachel I'd had a good dream, but hadn't said any more***

Rachel: Man, you are on a roll today. Must have been a very good dream. You're bringing your A game and it's not even 9

Sarah: Oh, Rachel. It was a very good dream.

Rachel: Well dammit, that's so mean, because I want to know about it, but obviously you can't tell me on here.

Rachel: So you're just a big ol tease

Sarah: I will just say that it was a very enjoyable...handball match with Aidan Turner....and maybe possibly Richard Armitage.

Rachel: :|

***

Sarah: There's a fun game. 5 pairs of celebrities you would want on your handball team.

Rachel: Oh...do you mean metaphorical handball? Or are we actually like, playing a sport and throwing a ball against a wall?

Sarah: I think you know what I mean

Rachel: Well one never wants to just assume.

Sarah: To borrow a different metaphor, I believe HIMYM referred to this sport as "riding the tricycle"

Rachel: Ah yes, well. Like alt-J, triangles are my favorite shape.

***

Rachel: Oh man. This is a really difficult decision. Ok. Tom and Benedict. I feel that they're evenly matched and also, I just want to see them ride their own bicycle sometimes.

Rachel: I have a feeling that is going to be the only thing I can think about for most of my choices.

Sarah: Well, my first choice is obviously Richard and Aidan. Just to see if they ride a bike in real life as well as they did in my dream.

Rachel: *whispers* they rode their own bicycle in your dream?

Sarah: *whispers* maybe...

Rachel: *sob*

Sarah: *whispers* i will tell you LATER

***

Rachel: Ok, second choice is Ben Whishaw and Daniel Craig. Because as ridiculously attracted to Ben as I am, I also feel like I could break him, so it would be nice to have someone there who was really strong and could throw me around a little.

Rachel: Hng. This is a dangerous game to be playing at work. I am only thinking about tricycles and not these authors' stupid problems.

Sarah: Is that such a bad thing?

Rachel: What? Where am I?

Rachel: Fine, it's fine.

Rachel: DAMN my leg.

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 5 (1/30/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Sarah: Okay, I'm bored, so: FMK, Benedict, Ben, and Martin

Rachel: AAAAH why those 3. Shit. Ok. Marry Benedict. Fuck Martin. Kill Ben. (That really hurt my heart by the way)

Sarah: Mwahahahahaha. It's a new twist on evil asks.

Sarah: Evil FMK

***

Rachel: Ok, FMK: Aidan, Tom, Benedict

Sarah: *ugly crying*

Sarah: Shit, this is harder than it should be. Because loyalty says I should kill Aidan....but he is currently haunting my brain. I'm going to have to think for awhile.

Rachel: I'll wait here.

Sarah: Okay, this is going to be shocking, but I can explain: F Aidan, M Benedict, K Tom.

Sarah: Aidan is just at the beginning of his career, really, and is just now really getting famous, and is also REALLY HOT, so I couldn't bring myself to kill him. So...we'll try other things :-P. Benedict is a perfect human being, so I'm going to marry him. Tom is also a perfect human being, but almost too perfect, what with his perfect fucking face, so I'll kill him to save all of the ovaries (even though it's heartbreaking)

Rachel: Wow. Did not see that coming. I thought for sure it would be Marry Tom, Kill Benedict

Sarah: Benedict somehow seems more real to me. Tom is like an angelic creature that I can't touch

Rachel: Aidan was a clear frontrunner in the other category

Sarah: HIS FACE AND HIS VOICE HAUNT MY DREAAAAAAMMMMMS

***

Rachel: FMK: Zoe Saldana, Jennifer Lawrence, Alison Brie

Sarah: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sarah: I mean it's fine

Sarah: Dammit

Rachel: That was your first one for me! That was an evil one!

Sarah: I know, I'm not mad

Sarah: Just surprised

Sarah: And sad

***

Sarah: FMK: Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Wormtail

Rachel: HRRGHH. Um. Ok. F Bellatrix, cause at least she's in decent shape and I think if I cooperated with whatever her crazy kinks were, I'd make it out alive. M Wormtail because he's pretty cowardly so I don't think he'd really hurt me, and he's more sane than Bellatrix. We would have separate bedrooms. And K Voldemort, cause you know, he's super evil and snakey.

***

Rachel: FMK: Sherlock, Tenth Doctor, Castiel.

Sarah: OW. I deserve that. I really, really deserve that. But still OW

Rachel: Little bit, yeah.

Sarah: Sigh

Rachel: F: Sherlock still. I love him, but I would not want to be married to him. M: Castiel, because he's become so human and he's a big dork and he's sweet. K: The Tenth Doctor, because he got really dark by the end, and he's so lonely, I think it would be less cruel to kill him than either of the others.

Rachel: Oh snap. No more Doctor. The Earth is doomed.

Sarah: Sherlock or Castiel will save it

Rachel: Sherlock never saves the world

Sarah: He would if given the chance. Just to prove he could.

Rachel: It would be AWFULLY clever...

Sarah: The cleverest

Sarah: The Ood would sing the Doctor to sleep.

Rachel: WHY

Sarah: Because it's funny

Rachel: I think we should make a rule that we can't talk about the Ood at work.

Rachel: It's too cruel.

***

Rachel: Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers

Sarah: Oh, you BITCH

Rachel: Over. Reaction.

Sarah: *kiss*

Sarah: F: Tony Stark. Because I want to see if he lives up to the hype. M: Bruce Wayne. Because he is my first and forever superhero love. So...K: Steve Rogers. Poor Steve.

Sarah: I killed America

Rachel: Yeah, who's the bitch now.

Fangirls at the Water Cooler, Episode 3 (1/28/13)

In the real world (outside tumblr), fangirling is an activity that usually happens in private. In Lawrence, Kansas, two dedicated fangirls have found way to abuse their work instant message system to squee. These are their stories.

(Serious moment - Rachel and I fangirl and play games over instant message every day, and we've decided it's time to share our hilarity [insanity?] with the world. We'll post a conversation every day, alternating blogs [hers is a-bit-not-good-yeah.tumblr.com], and tagging the post as "Fangirls at the Water Cooler." I hope you find us as entertaining as we clearly do!)

***

Rachel: Do you ever think about how many dead people's voices are living in your ipod?

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Sometimes you have thoughts

Rachel: Unfortunately, yes

***

Sarah [picking an arch nemesis for my own superhero movie): The villain is Daniel Craig. Because I don't know that I've ever seen him play a villain before, and I think he'd be really good at it. All charming and suave, but unpredictable and unstoppably strong.

Rachel: Oh god, I didn't know I wanted that until now.

Sarah: Right?

Rachel: He is a really excellent antihero, which is like 2 dead loved ones away from supervillain.

Sarah: That's the official equation. 10 angsts + 3 questionable pasts - 2 dead loved ones = supervillain

Rachel: I feel like that's the equation for a good villain, but for a supervillian it's (10 angsts + 3 questionable pasts - 2 dead loved ones) x 1 ultimate betrayal

Sarah: Ah, right, silly me. It's been awhile since I took film math.

Rachel: Well it was my minor in undergrad, so...

Sarah: Yeah, I decided to minor in advanced villain sympathy instead. My major was, of course, homoeroticism. With an emphasis in subtext.

Rachel: Oh, I took a couple courses in AVS, but I ultimately decided that I wanted to focus more on the flawed hero. There was a lot of overlap there with the homoeroticism department, and I actually TA'd for a class over there called "'Holy Unresolved Sexual Tension, Batman!' : Sidekicks and the Love that Dare Not Speak its Name in Contemporary Fiction"

Sarah: Oh, I loved that class!

***

Sarah: Five male stars you haven't seen in drag that you would like to.

Rachel: Ben Whishaw, but for real, not as a weird old lady wife to Hugh Grant.

Sarah: Fair enough

Rachel: : I need like Frank N Furter drag. I need it.

Sarah: That is one of the weirdest sentences I've seen in awhile, and that's saying a lot.

Rachel: That is fair. But you can't tell me that you don't think that would be a gorgeous sight to see.

***Then there was Jensen Ackles, Tom Hiddleston, Ian Somerhalder, and Chris Pine***

Sarah: Matt Bomer. Matt Bomer in eyeliner would ruin me

Rachel: Sorry, I think I just blacked out for a second.

Rachel: What? What happened?

Rachel: Chris Hemsworth. He'd be a large woman, but I want to see it.

Sarah: Haha, I want it to be over the top ridiculous. Like, a pink tutu and a blonde eighties wig

Rachel: Like when he's in Thor shape, yes, it would be ridiculous. But I think he could pull off hot if he were in Cabin in the Woods shape.

Rachel: Honestly though, I want to see it either way

***And then our brains came up with Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Aidan Turner***

Sarah: (side note: this would be the best calendar ever)

Rachel: faljkddddddddddddddddddddddsjdklfjkal;dsjl;fdjla;dfjkal

Sarah: Let's finish it out with Jude Law and Chris Evans. Because we already know they look good in drag.

Rachel: Yes they do. They really do

Sarah: Seriously: best. calendar. ever.

Rachel: Cillian murphy can be an alternate

Sarah: It could be for charity. We should pitch it to their agents.

Rachel: it would melt the internet.

Sarah: Tumblr would die. Just completely crash. Server overload.

Rachel: : I'm sort of mad that this isn't a thing that I can own right now. It's irrational, but I'm like MAD

Sarah: I'm just really depressed. I can see it in my head, and it's beautiful

Rachel: It's so beautiful

Sarah: I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIME GONE BY